Are you a shopaholic? Part 2

  “I don't know whether to sit home and feel sorry for myself,  

or shop to blot out my depression”

Melinda and Melinda, Woody Allen

What causes shopping addiction?

According to Shopaholics Anonymous, the causes of compulsive shopping are:

• Emotional deprivation in childhood
• Inability to tolerate negative feelings
• Need to fill an inner void
• Thrill seeking
• Approval seeking
• Perfectionism
• Genuinely impulsive and compulsive
• Need to gain control.

Most causes for compulsive shopping would appear to be psychological. Generally a person will be having emotions of loneliness, depression, feeling out of control in a particular area, and will seek to spend money in order to relieve the stress. Spending addiction is a symptom that there are deep-rooted feelings one is trying to avoid facing. An addict indulges themselves in shopping to help numb those troubling feelings – for a while.

But compulsive shopping ultimately satisfies none of those emotional needs the shopper is attempting to fill and the behaviour can escalate. Similar to other compulsive behaviours, sufferers often experience the highs and lows associated with addiction. Like people who feel compelled to shoplift, compulsive shoppers are caught in a cycle of anxiety: endorphin-fuelled highs and guilt-ridden lows. Victims often experience moods of satisfaction when they are in the process of purchasing, which gives the shopaholic a sort of euphoria, excitement, and high that seems to give their life meaning while at the same time letting them forget about their sorrows. But there is usually a feeling of disappointment afterwards – followed by guilt. Once leaving the environment where the purchasing has taken place, the feeling of personal reward may already have gone, so that to compensate, the addicted person goes shopping again in a vicious cycle of repetitive impulse buying – just one more thing to achieve a better self-identity. In this way, shopping addiction acts as a form of self-medication.

Social conditions

Social conditions may also play an important role. Given that consumer culture has an increasing impact on our psychological well-being and our sense of identity, compulsive buying has to be considered as a significant modern addiction – one which has increased rapidly since the 1980s. This is particularly true in Western societies which are so dependent on consumption, and where we are constantly subjected to advertising and marketing campaigns, on our televisions and in magazines. As the writer Gloria Steinhem pointed out: “Most women's magazines simply try to mould women into bigger and better consumers.”

Relational Effects of Compulsive Shopping

Compulsive shopping or spending may result in interpersonal, occupational, family and financial problems in one’s life. In many ways the consequences of this behavior are similar to that of any other addiction.

Impairment in relationships may occur as a result of excessive spending and efforts to cover up debt or purchases. Persons who engage in compulsive shopping or spending may become pre-occupied with that behavior and spend less and less time with important people in their lives. They may experience anxiety or depression as a result of the spending or shopping which may interfere with work or study performance. It is also common for an addict to begin lying and hiding their purchases from their family and keeping their charges to themselves.

Emotional Effects of Compulsive Shopping

The shopping and spending activity itself is associated with a feeling of happiness and power which is immediately gratifying. The after effects of remorse and guilt drive the spender back to purchase again to be able to achieve that brief but intense emotional high. Research has shown that many compulsive shoppers and spenders also suffer from mood disorders, substance abuse or eating disorders. As with any addiction, the person becomes dependent on the behavior to relieve negative feelings that cause them distress and discomfort.


Financial Effects of Compulsive Shopping

Financial problems may occur if money is borrowed or there is excessive use of credit to make purchases. Often the extent of the financial damage is discovered only after the shopper or spender has accumulated a large debt that necessitates a drastic change in lifestyle to resolve. Recovery groups such as Debtors Anonymous have formed to help compulsive shoppers and spenders return to normal, appropriate patterns of buying.

How do you control and treat this condition?

It is recommended that spending addicts seek professional counseling or a self-help group to deal with this problem. Addictive behaviours tend to come in clusters, so if you have an eating disorder, a problem with drugs or alcohol, or gambling, you may be a candidate for shopping addiction. Many communities have credit counselling centers that will also help with shopaholism.

There are no standard treatments for shopping addiction. Medications have been used, generally antidepressants that treat, in some cases, the underlying issue of depression in someone with an addiction, but with mixed results. Anti-anxiety medication can also help, depending on the individual. Therapists tend to focus on cognitive-behavioral treatment programs, and credit or debt counselling can be very helpful.

There is no quick and easy answer that will immediately cure a shopping addiction, and while treatment is a necessary part of solving the problem, so is behaviour change on the part of the addict.
Some people may need a self-imposed ban on shopping, whereas a more severe case might need to hand their finances over to someone else entirely.

How do I prevent shopping binges?

The following advice has been offered by bodies such as Shopaholics Anonymous and Debtors Anonymous:

• Admit that you are a compulsive spender, which is half the battle.
•  Make a shopping list and only buy what is on the list.
• Destroy all credit cards and cheque books except one to be used for emergency only.
• Avoid discount warehouses or sale shopping. Allocate only a certain amount of cash to be spent if you do visit one.
• ‘Window shop’ only after shops have closed. If you do look during the day, leave your purse at home.
• Do not watch TV shopping channels or catalogue shop and avoid online shopping – particularly late at night or after drinking.
• Do not shop by yourself – most compulsive shoppers shop alone and if you are with someone else you are much less likely to spend ridiculous amounts.
• Take a walk or exercise when the urge to shop comes on.
• Find other meaningful ways to spend your time.
• If you feel out of control, you probably are. Seek counseling or a support group such as Shopaholics Anonymous.
And keep in mind that while behavior change is clearly crucial to recovery, so is reaching out for help in the first place.

Are you a shopaholic?

Girls Aloud's Nicola Roberts recently declared:

“I’d rather choose Louboutins over therapy to cope with bullying.”

Roberts claimed she overcame the damage done to her self esteem by the trolls  declaring her the least attractive from Girls Aloud, not through years of introspective therapy sessions, but days spent shopping. In the interview she reveals how she'd prefer to spend money on retail therapy – in the form of Christian Louboutin heels – than on the real actual therapy to deal with her issues.
“It’s too bloody expensive,” she says of the counselling she sought to tackle the years of bullying by the media and public while in the band. “I’d rather sit there all night thinking until I couldn’t think any more, then reward myself the next day with a pair of Louboutins”, she declares.

This got me thinking about the different types of shopping – shopping beyond it's basic function – that is, to buy items that we need; but what happens when shopping starts to serve other functions – in this case – shopping to make us feel better. Nobody is beyond buying a nice new dress or a piece of jewellery to cheer them up on a lunch break or a Saturday afternoon. But when does it go from an innocent splurge to cheer yourself up, to becoming unhealthy – an addiction even? Shopaholism, compulsive shopping or to give it it's technical term oniomania – literally ‘sale insanity’ – is something I have (jokingly I hope) been accused of on more than one occasion. But how serious a phenomenon is it? Who suffers from it and why? And what can you do about it?

The Controversy of Shopping Addiction

Like other behavioral addictions, shopping addiction is steeped in controversy. Many experts balk at the idea that excessive spending can constitute an addiction. They are of the belief that there has to be a psychoactive substance which produces symptoms such as physical tolerance and withdrawal for an activity to be a true addiction.
There is also some disagreement among professionals about whether compulsive shopping should be considered an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), impulse control disorder (like pathological gambling), mood disorder (like depression), or addiction. It has been suggested that, along with kleptomania (compulsive stealing) and binge-eating disorder (BED), it be viewed as an impulsive-compulsive spectrum disorder.

How Is Shopping Addiction Like Other Addictions?

There are however, several characteristics that shopping ‘addiction’ shares with other addictions. As with other addictions, shopping addicts become preoccupied with spending, and devote significant time and money to the activity. Actual spending is important to the process of shopping addiction; window shopping does not constitute an addiction, and the addictive pattern is actually driven by the process of spending money.
As with other addictions, shopping addiction is highly ritualized and follows a typically addictive pattern of thoughts about shopping, planning shopping trips, and the shopping act itself, often described as pleasurable, ecstatic even, and as providing relief from negative feelings. Finally, the shopper crashes, with feelings of disappointment, particularly with  themselves. Also, while alcoholics will hide their bottles, shopaholics will hide their purchases.

Compulsive shoppers use shopping as a way of escaping negative feelings, such as depression, anxiety, boredom, self-critical thoughts, and anger. Unfortunately, the escape is short-lived. The purchases are often simply hoarded unused, and compulsive shoppers will then begin to plan the next spending spree. Most shop alone, although some shop with others who enjoy it. Generally, it will lead to embarrassment to shop with people who don’t share this type of enthusiasm for shopping.

What is compulsive shopping?

We all shop for many reasons but the addictive shopper buys to relieve anxiety. Over time, the buying creates a dysfunctional lifestyle as more and more of their focus revolves around the act of shopping and sometimes the cover-up. What differentiates shopaholism from healthy shopping is the compulsive, destructive and chronic nature of the buying.

Shopaholics, when they are feeling low or out of sorts, shop for a  lift. The shopping becomes a tonic. They go out and buy, to get a high, or get a ‘rush’ just like a drug addict or alcoholic. Shopping addiction tends to affect more women than men, often buying things they do not need. Holiday seasons can trigger shopping binges among those who are not compulsive the rest of the year. However, many shopping addicts go on binges all year long and may be compulsive about buying certain items, such as shoes, kitchen items or clothing; some will buy anything – and hoard.

Women with this compulsive disorder often have racks of clothes and possessions with the price tags still attached which have never been used. They will go to a shopping centre or a high street with the intention of buying one or two items and come home with bags and bags of purchases. In some cases shopalolics have an emotional ‘black out’ and do not remember even buying the articles. If their family or friends begin to complain about their purchases, they will often shop in secret and hide the things they buy – in extreme circumstances, even destroy their purchases. Denial, as with other addictive behaviours, is a common component of the problem. And as a result of the nature of shopaholism, the addict can find themselves in dire financial difficulties. Along with the emotional toil – feelings of guilt and shame – brought on by the patterns of lying and concealment, shopaholics can find their relationships with those closest to them can become extremely strained. This causes further mental anguish to the addict, who, now entrapped in a vicious circle, becomes even more reliant on their addiction as a source of comfort.

Signs you might be a shopaholic:

• Spending over budget: Often a person will spend well over their budget and get into deep financial trouble. Whereas a normal person will recognise their financial limitations and realise when an item is ‘out of their reach’, someone with shopaholism will not recognise the boundaries of a budget.

• Compulsive buying: When a person with a shopping addiction goes shopping, they often compulsively buy – they will go into a shop looking for one pair of shoes and come out with ten.

• It is a chronic problem:  Shopaholism is an ongoing problem. It is more than two or three months of the year, and more than a once-a-year Christmas spree.

• Hiding the problem: Shopaholics will hide their purchases because they do not want to face the critical reaction of those closest to them. Shopaholics will sometimes have separate accounts to hide their spending.

• A vicious circle: Some people will take their purchases back because they feel guilty. That guilt can then trigger another shopping spree.  In these people, debt may not be an issue as they are consistently returning items out of guilt – but a problem still exists.

• Impaired relationships: Problems within relationships can occur because the shopaholic spends significant amounts of time away shopping, covers up debt with deception, and emotionally and physically starts to isolate themselves from others as they become preoccupied with their behavior.

• Clear consequences:  As with other addictive behaviours, it is less to do with the amount of shopping undertaken, or the amount spent, but with the clear detrimental effect it has on the shoppers life. If there is a pattern in the behaviour, which has clear negative consequences, and your shopping is controlling you rather than the other way around, you may likely be a shopaholic.

For the causes of shopping addiction, and how to deal with it, see Part 2